the big 150 – get some, yeh donkeys

romanticGrey_Poupon_Is_That_Grey_Po

love is in the air!
oh wait I don’t think that’s love
it is ebola

at the stoplight

pardon me good sir
you have any grey poupon?
if not then fuck you

watch it mister

got some mouth on you
I should wash it out with soap
they’ll call you Soapmouth

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day one forty nine or something…you gotta see these haikus. Number three will shock you!!

furry praisechewy

Chewbacca’s so great
dude has been on fire since
his Wookiee season

low country

hey “The Netherlands”
or is it “Holland?” “The Dutch”?
pick a fucking name

shut up, stupid

if you’re not funny
or all that interesting
at least be quiet

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day one fifty – a haikurricane of savings

adjectivismit-s-not-gonna-happen-rick-o

Bold and Beautiful
it’s not just a soap opera
it’s also your mom

I’m talking to you, Paraguay

in the Olympics
they should give a medal for
the ugliest flag

history lesson

I guess we won the
Spanish American War
but that’s just a guess

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day one forty nine – haiku bonanzarama

tale of the grapegrimace_jpg

uh oh look out kids!
it’s the Grape Soda Monster!
he’ll fucking kill you

for the foodies

Pizza Hut Pizza
is good with one exception
if it’s been poisoned

genuine offer

hey you scratch my back
and I will scratch yours, except
I will use a rake

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day one forty eight, I guess? tonsure, koans, and old sayings

the cruelest cutTom-Brady-Haircut

so why aren’t hair cuts
covered by health insurance?
fucking Obama
/

tree mendous

tree falls in the woods
does it make a sound?  of course
you goddamn moron
/
you sew crazy
/
stitch in time saves nine
so start stitchin’ and savin’
multiples of nine

 

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Happy valentimes day stupid

this valentines day
give your lover your whole heart
Temple of Doom-style

chocolates and flowers
make a better gift than an
infected monkey

if you are single
just spend this day reflecting
while punching hoboes

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day one forty seven – more goddamn haikus

boning up

shake rattle and roll
sounds like you are describing
skeleton wrestling

folk off

the answer my friend
it is blowing in the wind
the answer is: flag

epitaph

let them say of me
I died doing what I loved
bleeding profusely

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all Manti Te’o, all the time

praying Manti

poor Manti Te’o
one thing he couldn’t tackle
the real goddamn world

the choice is yours

we have two options
the guy’s a world class liar
or fucking stupid

reality bites

she couldn’t be real
the dude plays for Notre Dame
he would have raped her

and a special bonus limerick:

There once was a boy from South Bend
who liked to play games of pretend
he fooled the whole nation
with his girlfriend creation
but he’s the one getting f*cked in the end.

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day one forty five – THE RETURN OF HAIKUBOY

give creedence

big wheel keep turnin
Proud Mary keep on burnin
because she’s a witch

fashion sense

look at him up there
with those stupid ass red boots
fuck you superman

victory speech

congrats Obama
amazing you couldn’t win
more of the slave states

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day one forty three – blood donation, speculative jesus behavior, and changing seasons

damn yankees

I donated blood
heard some yankee fan got it
i want that shit back

wwjd

what would jesus do?
well I bet he wouldn’t wear
that stupid bracelet

winter is coming

summer has left us
and with it warm weather clothes
goodbye for now, boobs

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