Happy valentimes day stupid

Posted on February 14, 2013 by admin

this valentines day
give your lover your whole heart
Temple of Doom-style

chocolates and flowers
make a better gift than an
infected monkey

if you are single
just spend this day reflecting
while punching hoboes

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day one forty seen – more goddamn haikus

Posted on January 25, 2013 by admin

boning up

shake rattle and roll
sounds like you are describing
skeleton wrestling

folk off

the answer my friend
it is blowing in the wind
the answer is: flag

epitaph

let them say of me
I died doing what I loved
bleeding profusely

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all Manti Te’o, all the time

Posted on January 19, 2013 by admin

praying Manti

poor Manti Te’o
one thing he couldn’t tackle
the real goddamn world

the choice is yours

we have two options
the guy’s a world class liar
or fucking stupid

reality bites

she couldn’t be real
the dude plays for Notre Dame
he would have raped her

and a special bonus limerick:

There once was a boy from South Bend
who liked to play games of pretend
he fooled the whole nation
with his girlfriend creation
but he’s the one getting f*cked in the end.

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day one forty five – THE RETURN OF HAIKUBOY

Posted on November 21, 2012 by admin

give creedence

big wheel keep turnin
Proud Mary keep on burnin
because she’s a witch

fashion sense

look at him up there
with those stupid ass red boots
fuck you superman

victory speech

congrats Obama
amazing you couldn’t win
more of the slave states

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day one forty three – blood donation, speculative jesus behavior, and changing seasons

Posted on February 3, 2012 by admin

damn yankees

I donated blood
heard some yankee fan got it
i want that shit back

wwjd

what would jesus do?
well I bet he wouldn’t wear
that stupid bracelet

winter is coming

summer has left us
and with it warm weather clothes
goodbye for now, boobs

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day one forty two – curse words, the other kennedy assassination, and porcupines

Posted on February 2, 2012 by admin

curse of the noldor

you should never curse
it weakens your argument
unless you’re a cunt

health code violation?

bobby kennedy
they shot him in a kitchen
next to the food?? GROSS

ode to the Erethizontidae

hello porcupine
you look so cute and cuddly
here let me OWWW FUCK!!!!

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day one forty one – einstein, obama, and defiant diabetics

Posted on February 1, 2012 by admin

it ain’t rocket science

they say that Einstein
said “e=mc2″
there’s no way that’s right

master detective

it took Obama
three years to find Bin Laden
way to go, Batman

bow down

hey diabetics
dare defy me? you shall pay
for such insulin

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day one forty – sandals, Khaaaaaaan, and shark senses

Posted on January 30, 2012 by admin

sand hells

hey sandal wearers
please invest in some real shoes
or else fuck right off

khan’t understand

Khan in Wrath of Khan
clearly read Moby Dick but
seemed to miss the point

great white

white sharks can smell blood
through ten miles of seawater
bet that gets old quick

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day one thirty nine – paintings that suck

Posted on January 27, 2012 by admin


fuck you smirking at?
what was so funny back then
illiteracy?


way to go Monet
you stand too close to this thing
it’s a fucking blur


wait wait I see it
it’s like a ship right? A boat?
ah shit I lost it

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day one thirty eight – the cost of postage, corn, and fiscal advice for those who raise bison

Posted on January 26, 2012 by admin

stamped out

do stamps cost more now?
I never mail anything
hold on I’ll find out

riveting story

I sure do like corn
I know that’s not interesting
whatever, fuck off

be responsible!

buffalo ranchers
don’t let your debts pile up – pay
your buffalo bills

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