Monthly Archives: December 2010

new year bonus

hey advertisers how come so many products seem to turn guys gay? happy new year, everybody!

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day thirty four – presidential history, part three

hey Grover Cleveland if LeBron heard your last name he’d fuck you over* Franklin Roosevelt successful four-term leader nice try polio lawyer John Adams defended British redcoats that fucking traitor *presumably on two non-consecutive occasions

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day thirty three – dark prophecies and hoboes

turn off the dork the spider man show i am calling it right now three deaths from wire work* job search i want a new job one that is more rewarding like hippie puncher homelessons cardboard box livin all the … Continue reading

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day thirty two – snakes ahoy!

coral burnett deadly coral snakes look just like harmless king snakes nice fucking work God monsters, inc wish the internet was a big furry monster I’d call him Googlor LeBusted what up LeBron James you sure screwed Cleveland over like … Continue reading

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there’s a guy!!

no idea why but I have been thinking about this all day.

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day thirty one – the night a dog stole my dinner

to my girlfriend’s roommate’s dog, who stole the one remaining porkchop off my plate when I turned my back for a fucking second ill-behaved dachshund you pork chop stealing monster EAT A BAG OF DICKS* day at the office this … Continue reading

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haiku review – any Michael Bay Transformers movie

they say Transformers are “more than meets the eye” but not in this damn case

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merry haiku-ristmas

I didn’t know what you wanted, so I made you some Christmas haikus! left treats for Santa but I think my dad ate them jesus fucking christ you know why Rudolph has that shiny red nose right? because he’s a … Continue reading

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day thirty – CHALLENGE!

once again Liz decided to fuck with me by issuing me a challenge!.  this time the rules were I had to write haikus about mold, cookies, and macadamia nuts, without using the words mold, cookies, or macadamia nuts. mold so … Continue reading

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day twenty nine – star trek, wordplay, and dumb holidays

illogical how many damn times did McCoy need to be told SPOCK HAS NO FEELINGS word up serendipity sounds like a term to describe two snakes having sex happy holiday England’s Boxing Day is when everyone buys gifts for Marvin … Continue reading

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