Category Archives: theme party

day one thirty nine – paintings that suck

fuck you smirking at? what was so funny back then illiteracy? way to go Monet you stand too close to this thing it’s a fucking blur wait wait I see it it’s like a ship right? A boat? ah shit … Continue reading

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day one thirty four – tiny european countries

/ / / / / / some advice for France invade fucking Monaco I’m sick of their shit hey San Marino you ain’t Vatican City stop acting like it fuck you Andorra what are you, French or Spanish? pick a … Continue reading

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day one thirty – back to school

back to school – unlike the Rodney Dangerfield film it is not funny remember pee chees? man i remember those things but then I am old on your first day back beat up an upper classman you’ll get left alone

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day one twenty seven – instructions for dangerous situations

if a man pulls a gun on you back away slowly into a Bengal tiger then throw it at him in case of a shark attack first thing you must do is get out of the water then go home … Continue reading

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day one hundred twenty-two – Game of Thrones

Yes, I finally got around to doing this. / / /    Tyrion the Dwarf though he be small in stature hes got a large head Princess Danerys please find some more excuses for her to be nude Joffrey Lannister … Continue reading

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day one hundred eighteen – musical instruments that need to be taken down a peg

/ / / / / / / ?  the “grand” piano?? so what, you’re black and shiny so’s Patrick Ewing / while I am at it what is with “piano black”? sounds like a Bond girl / fucking piccolos?? look … Continue reading

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day one hundred fifteen – three people that have never been in my kitchen

John Ratzenberger you were in Empire Strikes Back and all the Pixars Jason Schwartzman-san is what he’s called in Japan that dumb hipster fuck dear Alex Trebek the question is: do you suck? the answer is yes

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day one hundred twelve – america’s next top model

I wrote these while watching America’s Next Top Model, or as we massive fans call it, ANTM. Actually I hate it.           / these girls are so DUMB if this was still caveman days theyd be … Continue reading

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day one hundred seven – the perfidious treachery of keanu reeves

These are written in response to this fucking bullshit. hey Keanu Reeves way to steal my idea you fucking butthead why you do this man i don’t come where you work and act badly in films no oscars? shocking actors … Continue reading

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day one hundred six – BEAUTY PAGEANTS

These are in honor of my sister who finished in the top ten of the Miss New Mexico competition over the weekend (miss Rio Rancho, pictured). drop dead gorgeous in beauty pageants the girls should display talent but not for … Continue reading

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