day one forty eight, I guess? tonsure, koans, and old sayings

the cruelest cutTom-Brady-Haircut

so why aren’t hair cuts
covered by health insurance?
fucking Obama
/

tree mendous

tree falls in the woods
does it make a sound?  of course
you goddamn moron
/
you sew crazy
/
stitch in time saves nine
so start stitchin’ and savin’
multiples of nine

 

all Manti Te’o, all the time

praying Manti

poor Manti Te’o
one thing he couldn’t tackle
the real goddamn world

the choice is yours

we have two options
the guy’s a world class liar
or fucking stupid

reality bites

she couldn’t be real
the dude plays for Notre Dame
he would have raped her

and a special bonus limerick:

There once was a boy from South Bend
who liked to play games of pretend
he fooled the whole nation
with his girlfriend creation
but he’s the one getting f*cked in the end.

day one forty three – blood donation, speculative jesus behavior, and changing seasons

damn yankees

I donated blood
heard some yankee fan got it
i want that shit back

wwjd

what would jesus do?
well I bet he wouldn’t wear
that stupid bracelet

winter is coming

summer has left us
and with it warm weather clothes
goodbye for now, boobs

day one forty two – curse words, the other kennedy assassination, and porcupines

curse of the noldor

you should never curse
it weakens your argument
unless you’re a cunt

health code violation?

bobby kennedy
they shot him in a kitchen
next to the food?? GROSS

ode to the Erethizontidae

hello porcupine
you look so cute and cuddly
here let me OWWW FUCK!!!!

day one forty one – einstein, obama, and defiant diabetics

it ain’t rocket science

they say that Einstein
said “e=mc2”
there’s no way that’s right

master detective

it took Obama
three years to find Bin Laden
way to go, Batman

bow down

hey diabetics
dare defy me? you shall pay
for such insulin

day one forty – sandals, Khaaaaaaan, and shark senses

sand hells

hey sandal wearers
please invest in some real shoes
or else fuck right off

khan’t understand

Khan in Wrath of Khan
clearly read Moby Dick but
seemed to miss the point

great white

white sharks can smell blood
through ten miles of seawater
bet that gets old quick