day one forty nine or something…you gotta see these haikus. Number three will shock you!!

furry praisechewy

Chewbacca’s so great
dude has been on fire since
his Wookiee season

low country

hey “The Netherlands”
or is it “Holland?” “The Dutch”?
pick a fucking name

shut up, stupid

if you’re not funny
or all that interesting
at least be quiet

day thirty one – the night a dog stole my dinner

to my girlfriend’s roommate’s dog, who stole the one remaining porkchop off my plate when I turned my back for a fucking second

ill-behaved dachshund
you pork chop stealing monster
EAT A BAG OF DICKS*

day at the office

this day sucks so much
like a retarded boa
it is long and dumb

tried to eat his way out

how did Han Solo
gain fifteen pounds while frozen
in that carbonite?

*my sister’s boyfriend Chris requested that I use the phrase “bag of dicks” in a haiku, and this is what happened.  Also, fuck you Showcase Showdown you deceitful cur