day five

training day

subway underground
silver lightning in the dark
a retard driving

to the elderly lesbian who put her lock on my bike so I couldn’t go home

bitter old Sapphite
chaining up innocent bikes
won’t make girls like you

Diamond in the rough

September morn, we
danced until the night became
a brand new day. Two*

*this last one is just the chorus from Neil Diamond’s September Morn.  So he sucks, not me.

day four

there were bonus haiku on this day because I saw a chicken.

true story

walking home today
saw a goddamn live chicken
I’m like, what the fuck?

Brooklyn’s finest

baseball’s Gil Hodges
despite what you think, could not
breathe under water

smooth criminal

Michael Vick, you suck
your field vision is suspect
plus the dogfighting*

bearly legal

get out of here bear!
those grubs don’t belong to you
go back to Vermont


three kings bearing gifts
of gold frankincense and myrrh
babies love that shit

*I wrote this before he started playing really well.  he still sucks though

day three

The assignment was to write three haiku about dinosaurs, pants, and metal (the material or the musical genre) respectively. I was not allowed to use the words dinosaur, pants, or metal.


sweet fossil fuels
liquid archaeopteryx
four bucks a gallon


what are you wearing?
it looks like two giant snakes
are eating your legs


stupid mercury
it acts all tough but it ain’t
shit’s just juiced silver