day eigty – underrated animals

i love pangolins!
they’re like the armored halftracks
of the wilderness


don’t sell gibbons short
their long ass arms will take you
to another world


freshwater dolphins
not just retarded cousins
of the other ones


and a bonus by request…


baby bee killer
bane of the hooded cobra
this badger don’t care

day seventy nine – a tribute to Liz Taylor’s films

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf

is it a real woolf?
cause woolves are always scary
even when they girls
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

poor Maggie the Cat
with her giant snowman dad
and her gay husband

she played a young girl
great at seducing Romans
just like…never mind


day seventy seven – another band idea, the answer to life the universe and everything, and tip punks

you’ve been warned

Aaron Sisterhands
that’s a pretty good band name

deepest thought ever

what it boils down to
in the whole grand scheme of things
…lost my train of thought

tip of the iceberg

all you bad tippers
can eat a big chain of dicks
you cheap ass bastards

day seventy six – CHALLENGE! apples (?)

Three haikus about apples.  This was the hardest challenge yet, as you can probably tell from the third one, at which point I had pretty much given up.



three apples high
would be a good name for a
smurfs-only high school


apple bum

in the Depression
many people sold apples
yeah pencils too, MOM


apple dapple doo
I’ve got a message for you
go eat an apple

day seventy five – angry muppets, fairy tale theater, and a legendary songstress

bin dweller

you want oscar buzz?
put a bee in a trash can
on Sesame Street

primate-ive feelings

Beauty and the Beast
its a tale as old as time
about a love ape

dork crystal

I miss Crystal Gayle
hair like Rapunzel and a
mysterious butt