day one hundred twenty-two – Game of Thrones

Yes, I finally got around to doing this.




Tyrion the Dwarf
though he be small in stature
hes got a large head

Princess Danerys
please find some more excuses
for her to be nude

Joffrey Lannister
might kindly be described as
Draco Malfoy-ish

day one hundred twenty-one: religion, foundations, and disambiguation

speak up sonny

when i go to church
I pray really loud because
God is old as fuck

rock solid

we built this city
not so much on rock and roll
mostly on sandstone

too much to bear

bearers of bad news
are entirely different
from the bad news bears

and a bonus for Liz who was having a bad day:

case by case basis

case of the Mondays?
give me a case of good scotch
then shut the fuck up

day one hundred nineteen – stupid songs from the hippie times

crimson and clover
just sounds like the sight of a
butchered Irishman

magic carpet ride
implies muslims are magic
thats fucking racist

smoke on the water
probably about a bong
or some dumb ass shit

day one hundred eighteen – musical instruments that need to be taken down a peg


the “grand” piano??
so what, you’re black and shiny
so’s Patrick Ewing

while I am at it
what is with “piano black”?
sounds like a Bond girl


fucking piccolos??
look guys, its a tiny flute!
get over yourself


goddamn harpsichords
you make the worst sound on earth

day one hundred seventeen – james bond, the windy city, and general popery

licensed and bonded

James Bond is so cool
he has a license to kill
and is always drunk

toddlin’ town

I like Chicago
just the city, not the band
the band sucks goat cock

impossible dream

if I were the Pope
I would make some small changes
like, no more Jesus

day one hundred sixteen – animals, male wisdom, and an unfortunate instruction

pet sounds

the cow was like “moo”
and the pig was all “oink, oink”
both made some good points

girl you know it’s true

man loves a woman
he can’t think of nothin else
til he gets hungry

thus spaketh

thou shalt not worship
any graven images?
there goes my weekend

day one hundred fifteen – three people that have never been in my kitchen

John Ratzenberger
you were in Empire Strikes Back
and all the Pixars

Jason Schwartzman-san
is what he’s called in Japan
that dumb hipster fuck

dear Alex Trebek
the question is: do you suck?
the answer is yes