day sixty four – worm baseball, linguistic mashups, and hedgehog magic

annelidical

if worms played baseball
all of their home games would be
held at Wriggly Field

babel on

some folks speak Spanglish
but not Tagalogerman
or even Frussian

/
Groundhog Day

Oh magic hedgehog
use your rodent witchpowers
shift the earth’s axis

day sixty one – latin american caudillos*

*dictators.

Señor Trujillo
truly evil but fuck it
the man liked baseball

Alfredo Stroessner
was called “the Tyrannosaur”
for his tiny arms

President Perón
don’t cry for him Argentines
he will have you shot

day eighteen – alternate universe edition

Liz wanted to fuck with me, so the assigned theme for this day was alternate universes.

hey on some parallel earth
this right here could be
a fully valid haiku

I bet that the other me
has a kick ass car
man I fucking hate that guy

in the other universe
the Mets are still bad
so horrible at ballbase

see what I did there?  high five!

day eight

the last one is about the San Francisco Giants closer, not the Beach Boys guy.  I also changed it to be less racist.

bold assertion

Stalin and Hitler
gonna go out on a limb
they were bad people

lethal weapon

Mel Gibson’s Passion
is not a movie at all
it’s spousal abuse

remember the Giants

Brian Wilson’s beard
is somewhat like Darth Vader
black and frightening

day four

there were bonus haiku on this day because I saw a chicken.

true story

walking home today
saw a goddamn live chicken
I’m like, what the fuck?

Brooklyn’s finest

baseball’s Gil Hodges
despite what you think, could not
breathe under water

smooth criminal

Michael Vick, you suck
your field vision is suspect
plus the dogfighting*

bearly legal

get out of here bear!
those grubs don’t belong to you
go back to Vermont

Jerusalame

three kings bearing gifts
of gold frankincense and myrrh
babies love that shit

*I wrote this before he started playing really well.  he still sucks though